concert

The past week was really fast. The assistant trainor was really fast and we were all relax during his take-over classes. Out trainor was busy with the new class but its all good.
I'm just having a dilemna over my seatmate. I think she needs the job as much as I do but I think she better do things fast otherwise we wont survive the training.I have also met a batchmate that is also a book lover. It surprises me because he did'nt seem toi have any bounderies. He have read a lot and it shows.

Funny I didnt think training would be this hard. I guess it is how it works nowadays.

Due to the nature of my work I have to quit playing my guitar during Sunday worship. But I'm going back to singing! I'm not really a great singer but I think i get get along.

We also went to a christian concert at one of the extension church at Bustos. It was great! The band is good and the singers were awesome. The keyboardist (if there is such a word) was familliar to us because he went to our practice once in a while. He is very good, I could tell he is also the musical director of the whole band.

We even have free dinner. We had a lot of fun especially during the dinner part. We've had a few good laughs. It's such a great feeling.

I have learned that sometimes things arent what we want it. And that there's just no other way but the onse we have grown up with, but I guess we have to do something about it. Just like my japanese friend said... Maybe YOU are the first one that has to take all the hardships so that the next generation will have a better life.

I just realized something, oh well, I knew this all the time but I guess I'm just to lazy to do it....

Hmmmmm some of my random thoughts.....

Cards

I have read a story last night and it strengthen my goal right now.

Its about this guy's dream. He found himself at a room, one wall was covered by a file, the one you see in the libraries with index cards inside each file box.

The headings were unusual. One file says, The songs I have listened too, or Lustful thoughts, or Instances where I shouted back to my parents. He realized that the files were his past, his every memory, his sins, his achievements. Each card was in his own hand writing affixed with his signature. Fear then anger was his inital reaction, as musch as he wanted to destroy everything, he cannot. And then he saw Jesus. Of all people he does'nt want to see Him there, he doesnt want Jesus to saw his wrongdoings. The guy cried, to his surprise Jesus cried with him, too. And then, Jesus came to the files and wrote his own signature on each card. Its like acknowledging the sins and taking it as his own. There written on the cards, His signature written with his blood. The guy wanted to stop Jesus but Jesus said "its finished."

It reminds us that our sins were forgiven by the death and ressurection of Jesus Christ. He wanted to repent so that we may become pure like Him.

You would understand better by reading the whole book.

You can read "I kissed dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris.

Its more than what the title says, its a new perspective.

Moreso read the bible.

....

Well, I said to a friend..."I missed the feeling of having a commitment, but I guess I can't bear the responsibility that goes with it, so I better not have one."

I realized as I move on, that some of my actions were justified. I have to do something that is so hard to do, even painful to do, because it is the right thing to do. sometimes I felt guilty but reasons came that made me realized that, it is what I supposed to do.

All I have to do is trust Him.

new adjustments

Im having a hard time sleeping and eating and studying and doing my obligations at our home.

Oh, well I anticipated this kind of adjustments even before I made my resume.

I really have to do this, i have to convince myself that I can do this. I have plans, some are even as selfish as it gets but in the end I hope I will not be taken to the path I onced walked. I want to live the rightheous way now. I dont want to go astray. The past have brought me pain and even my dignity was taken away. But by all means, I will get up and walk again.

I felt a pinch in my heart when he told me that his father was at the hospital. Once, i felt really close to a family and that it saddens me to find out that his father was sick. I even remember seeing him at a hospital room with his wife and children but that was on a different situation. As much as I wanted to be there and just to see his face, I cant. I'll just express my love through prayers. I hope you're OK now.

Thank you Lord and please have mercy.

A sofa

Still learning...thanks for the comment..

My mother was in-charge of all the things that was brought in our house. I never really had a comment on the things around the house until she went to my sister a few hours of plane trip from us and I was left to take care of the house and the people inside it...(very sarcastic!)

Well, I can say that my mother is very industrious, organized, and tidy in maintaining our home. Although sometimes she is into some out-of-this-world stuff but nonetheless all was absolutely OK..(still not quite enough)

Lately did I realized that some of the things, I think, should be given away or thrown out. One thing is our sofa. I asked my father, if maybe we should give the sofa away. He was taken aback and said that my mother will get angry for doing that. But I told him, the sofa requires a lot of cleaning and I think I have a lot of other important things than doing that. It also occupies a lot of space. Actually I have something in my mind. I dont want a sofa, I want chairs or high chairs or may be even a leather round sofa. I wish I have enough money to buy those. I want to give our house a better look or a better feel. I want it to be quite modern. We are all grown-up and I think chairs is enough. I imagine conversations taking place with the chairs of each kind or maybe a small imitation of a bar with high chairs. Soft music or just the TV on but the focus are the people exchanging opinions and/or laughing at a joke. The visitors wont worry where to sleep in anyway we have an extra room now =) well, just in case they want to stay.

By the way, I'm going to be busy in the coming days...im feeling kinda sad.

I also want to thank the Lord for these new blessing. Something to feel very glad.Ironic.

Changes...like the ones in my life.

Turn around not looking back..

I missed reading a book and its been a more than a year since i really finish a book. The last book Ihave read then was Tuesdays with Morrie. It was given to me by my bestfriend. She never misses to share her hobbies with me. I thank her because in her little ways, she inspires me.

I missed reading Harry Potter. It's good thing i've already read the one that was just shown at the movies, The Order of the Phoenix. It helps because I have some idea about the story. And I think the running time of latest movie was shorter compared to the previous ones. I have to keep in mind that I have to read the next one.

I still have to finish the one reading I'm right now. I got it from a website that I love. The book was "I kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris. It was followed by Boy Meets Girl, which i'm very curious. It was actually sold out at a certain bookstore.

But then again, i guess and I hope I could still have the time to read.

Sometimes I feel guilty because I could stay up late in the evening and read the book I'm interested at the moment but failed to endure the a few minutes reading the bible.

Sometimes I could even stay up late in the evening while hanging out with my friends or going out on a date but I failed to weak to wake up to attend the dawn prayer.
When will I be able to stay strong and worthy to be called a Christian?

HMMM ;-)

I just want to save this....savor this...my self expression.. please respect...and understand.

"Hello..My dearest friend..Hope you are OK. Hmmmmmwah! Miss you so much. Miss you being there. Love you miss ....kroylyn... Kahit malayo ka."

How wonderful... I cant help but smile. This is what i mean when I said that it doesnt take much to have a happy day..just the thought that someone is thinking about me. AndI cant help but to think about him too. He is just a friend and i cant say if I could fall in love with him, yet he made me smile and that is enough. I thank you for making me feel good. I appreciate our friendship.


Thank you God for letting me experience some pain and the rewards of joy. Your blessings are endless...

Vission

My nephew is singing for Sunday service in our church. When my mother went to a foreign land, he was left in my custody. So during their practice I was there, too. Like a mother.. :-) Soon enough I became part of the group. I'm singing my lungs out with praises to the Lord. Although I am not a good singer, I tried my best to reach the high notes.

Then the instruments came. I have a background in guitar so I decided to take guitar lessons. Its not for me though, I'm thinking maybe later, when my nephew is old and interested enough, he will ask me to teach him how to play the guitar. He is not interested right now. I think he is not mature enough to take such actions for himself. So i stayed and tired myself practicing and playing the guitar. Then, one day, he asked me..

"Ate, could you teach me how to play the guitar when my hands have grown longer and stronger?"
"Of course!" I said.

I smiled to myself. All the pain and struggling....it was all paid.
An inspiration!

reflections

I often realized why the song "hawak kamay" by Yeng was so popular(i think)...maybe because people wanted so much to have someone they could rely on. It is just so heart-warming to hold someones hand and walk through life. The world or life itself is perhaps lonely and that the only concept they could hold on to was that somebody is waiting to be there no matter what happens.

I remember one line from a book or a card, i cant remember, and it goes:

"it doesnt take much to have a happy day...a sunshine..a quite place and the feeling that someone is thinking about you."

I think its true....the feeling that you are not alone in this cruel, unfair life..gives us strength and hope to continue to stay alive. It becomes our purpose maybe to struggle, to dream, to reach our goals, and to plan for the future. Or to the simplest thought..having someone makes us happy...

Does this fall under "Belongingness" in the hierarchy of needs? I think so..
If this is not making any sense to you..I dont care..Its my blog ok? ;)

Hmmmmmmm....stay happy. every minute is so precious to sit around and stare..make a moment..